Loving life!

We are in Florida, the home of the dead and the drunk. My grandmother has lost her marbles to some disease of the mind, we wait only on one of us to snap and call the men that take old people away. I want a gun. I dont care what kind, just a big one. Big, like a cannon. I need a novel to tell you what happened lately in full, but let me tell you, the only things that would help are; 1: a gas mask 2: a can of some debilitating chemical 3: a helicopter with BIG guns. It should have like 16 big guns too. and a missile. I cant wait to go home tomorow, but unfortunately my mother has to stay her for an undetermined amount of time, due to my grandmother's mental incapacity. I guess I can just go and buy a dozen video games with uber violence. Like Grand Theft Auto. See, I don't want a "Halo" or a "Ghost Recon", I want my grandmother to be mentally healthy. And my famly and life will be complete. But seriously, I'm not crazy, and I don't want to come across as anything less than a fun and attractive person person , theres just nothing to do except boil about the problems we been having. My uncle is here, which is good.
Maybe he has a interesting anecdote that will make people laugh.

Editors Note; It turns out my uncle did have a firearm, a Yugoslavian SKS carbine, with a grenade launcher attachment and spike bayonet. Firing 7.62 x 39 mm ammuniton, it was the default Soviet infantry rifle generation between the SVT series; and the AK generation.